Dating Tips: Can I Trust Them?

The most satisfying relationships involve learning about the other person and, at the same time, sharing a bit about yourself. Unfortunately it is a reality of life that not everybody is trustworthy. There is always a risk to trust: it therefore has to be earned, and it is this that makes it more valuable. How can you tell that they are being truthful and telling you how they really feel, and not just telling you what you want to hear.

Dating tips and dating ideas for fun, enjoyable and successful dating. Photo: Muramasa

Trust must have boundaries, otherwise it would be indiscriminate openness. Trust is not black and white: for example, you might trust someone with money but not to fix your car. Do not trust someone just because you want to trust them: you may well already have friends who are fun and good company, but unreliable and not trustworthy.

Trust develops over time, not from the things that people say, but from what they do. When you trust someone it means that they are reliable and remain the same from day to day. They must have the flexibility to change and adapt to the changing circumstances of life. Beware of people who are rigid and inflexible, who have always done things in a particular way, as they will always expect you to adapt to them rather than giving and taking.

You should never feel guilty about not trusting someone: be very wary of anyone who tries to make you feel guilty for not trusting them. That’s a danger sign: if they are oversensitive about not being trusted, they may have something to hide. Similarly, you should be wary of trusting someone who makes you feel afraid.

These are generalisations – if you can read their body language and voice tone you will get a better picture of the individual person. Everybody is different: loss of direct eye contact can be a sign of dishonesty, but is also a sign of shyness. If you get to know the individual’s body language then you will be able to judge more accurately.

Bear in mind though – just because a partner in one relationship was untrustworthy is no reason for not being able to trust someone else.