Relationship Advice: Attraction through Self Revelation

How is it that friends can become lovers? How can people who are not physically attracted come together in true romance? How can two people become truly attracted to one another? Here is at least part of the answer to the secret of attraction!

Building a better relationship. Photo: ReubenInStt

Self-revelation is one of the most powerful methods of bonding. It shows honesty and builds trust and intimacy. The other person will come to understand you better and at the same time you will come to know yourself a little better. It is a powerful and quick way to self-acceptance.

Self revelation is yours to control: you can tell as much or as little as you like and you choose what to reveal. This is not about a psychological soul-baring, but a true description of your deepest beliefs and values. This openness, honesty and intimacy can create affection – even if done via a computer with someone on another continent. It tells the other person that you trust them and are finished with hiding.

Be wary: self-revelation is very powerful and can be risky. Honesty and trust are tow of the strongest forces in relationships but there are those who take them for granted, those who give nothing in return and those who may betray your trust. Trust may take a very long time to earn, but can be lost in a moment. Take care!

Be honest and open, even you think your feelings may not make complete sense! Here are some topics to consider:

• What physical attributes attract you? Shape? Colour? Hair? Big boobs, slender legs or small bottoms perhaps?
• Sexual preferences: how much foreplay and what activities most stimulate you? How much sexual activity do you desire?
• What is your attitude to the opposite sex? What attitudes and expectations do you have? What are men good at? What are women good at?
• What expectations do you have for your partner’s role in life, the home and at work?
• Childhood and home: how would your partner have fitted in to your childhood home? Have you been attracted to someone similar to you, or do they compensate for something missing?
• What sort of person are you? How do you perceive yourself? Tell them about a few of the defining moments in your life. What is important to you in life, in a relationship, in a friend or in a partner?
• What truths have you observed in relationships (as opposed to what you wish were true)? What ambitions do you have in life?

You can find out more about self-revelation, and whole host of other topics in NLP and relationships by Robin Prior and Joseph O’Connor. Enjoy finding out about yourselves; take your time over it – there’s no hurry!