Relationships: Memories of Childhood

When building your relationship this topic can be an interesting one to discuss with your partner, or something to think over yourself. Most people are looking for security, fun and happiness in a relationship. For most people our childhood home is also associated with love, security and happiness and therefore anything that reminds us of home will trigger those same feelings.

Dating Tips: Give yourself the best chance of success. Photo: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We are often attracted to people who would have fitted in with our own upbringing, which explains why some people may end up in relationships with an unexciting partner even after a string of exciting and fun ones: the fun ones didn’t fit in with their past. It can even explain why someone whose parents hurt them might have a relationship with a partner who hurts them too! Meeting someone who would have fitted in well with our childhood is an explanation for love at first sight.

Think about your own childhood. What memories do you have? A piece of music? A favourite toy? A taste or smell? Imagine these things, or recreate them (by putting on an old record, for example) and you’ll see how these associations can help to recreate those feelings.

Understanding your own and your partner’s feelings about childhood can help you both to understand what the other may be looking for in their partner in order to develop the happiness and security that you need to develop your relationship.

In some cases people who have poor memories of childhood may have rebelled, and be looking for something completely different. Such a person may choose a relationship with a partner because their parents would hate them. Either way, discussing childhood memories with your partner can help you to understand some of the very foundations of your relationship.

For further reading on this, try reading “NLP and Relationships by Prior and O’Connor”
who explain this, and many other interesting concepts in more depth.